A corpse hangs in the web

Or, as it is known in some circles, Horror of Spider Island (HSI). This is a horror/science-fiction movie that currently lurks somewhere in the public domain. I must admit, calling it sci-fi is stretching the truth a bit; a mutant spider that spawns a natural selection reject hardly does justice to the genre. This German movie from the 1960s traces the failing-to-thrill adventures of a Mr. Gary and his dancing girls. Well, let me cover the basics: what's the movie about and is it worth watching?

HSI is about a group of people whose airplane crashes into some obscure island in the middle of nowhere. Actually it crashed into the sea and there was this painful, skin-baring affair on a dinghy before anyone actually spotted the island. This is where any potential similarity to Lost ends, that is unless the secret of the hit series revolves around Locke being a nightclub owner who is on the look-out for a willing-to-bare-a-thigh dance troupe. Well, it sounds like the said club owner, Gary, hired a private plane and was taking his all-female dancing group to Singapore when disaster struck. All things considered, everyone adjusted rather well to being stranded, even after they made the gruesome discovery of a dead man in a cabin. Who, by the way, was clinging onto a giant spider web! The general idea was “there's a giant spider on the island, we'll just avoid it.” Ah, the 60's optimism!

Well, manly chest-baring gun-toting Walter is the first victim. He is also the only victim of the deadly spider which, incidentally, dies from a mouthful of bullets. That certainly killed of any expectation of a rampaging eight legged monster. Good news is that Gary mutants into a spider-beast. Bad news is, his abilities are limited to pathetic strangling gestures and twitchy shoulder shrugs. For a truly epic shrug, check out his 'Woe is me!' shrug after he tries to nab one of the girls. Did I mention that, in all that time until the inevitable spider-beast hunt, Gary attacks only two people? And spent most of the movie as an emo-spider in a dark and damp cave?

Is it worthy watching? If you are a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, this will bring back fond memories. That's right, seems like this did take pride of place in some of the spoofs. Even if you haven't seen MST3K, the movie is full of unintentionally funny bits. Of course, from what I have read, this movie is mostly famous for the revealing shots of the female stars. This is relatively typical for a horror movie; after all, which modern horror flick does feature a rather well endowed and minimally dressed female running into the woods and right into the serial killer's knife?