Amityville Horror (1979)

Two hours in, this angle started to look old

Some horror stories from your childhood can give you the chills, even today. Look at Silver Bullet for example. Others can be a vapid little flop that can't even coax a laugh out of you. I am talking about the well-known Amityville Horror.

Everyone's heard of this one. For the young ones, the recently released remake should serve as a good introduction. Well, to be fair, the 2005 version didn't stay true to the events surrounding the whole Amityville haunting. I'm talking about the creepy voice-filled, slime on the wall moments. The 'arrgh, there's a portal to hell in basement' discovery, the 'let's just leave it all and flee' scenario. Stories about the so-called actual haunting of Amityville were quite popular was when I was a little brat. And so, such descriptions were always associated with the stories. Oh and I should mention that the stories and the 1979 movie itself borrows heavily from the 'our time in Amityville' covered in a book by Jan Anson. So, keeping all this in mind, does the movie live up to the hype? After all, this movie is closest to the true life accounts described in the novel. Lois, you missed a deadline

I am afraid that the movie is a big disappointment. It was not that the movie was slow in its build up. I've made it through Blood Pit of Horror; I can't complain about any movie being slow after that debacle. And it was not that Amityville was silly. I mean just the other day I was entertained by a movie about a werewolf … who hits people with a baseball bat! No, rather it was that the movie was seemed like a medley of horror stories we've all heard around campfires. That in itself might have worked but unfortunately this flick was supposed to be based on real life events.

So here is a really basic summary of the movie. A family of five plus a happy little dog called Harry moves into a brand new home. The house is haunted, which might have something to do with the previous tenants being shot by a disgruntled family member. Or it might be that weird little red room in the basement. Let's leave it open and let our imaginations go wild, shall we? So after the family moves in, the folks start displaying strange symptoms, mood swings and whatnot. Visiting family members lose money or get sick their car. Loopy friends with psychic tendencies get chills around the house. Finally, the family can't stand all this stress and paranormal activity and make a run for it. After rescuing silly little Harry from the basement of course.

You know what bothered me most about the movie? The way the folks seemed to project their troubles onto something outside themselves. If not for the occasional reference to flies (you heard me) and telephones thatIn the house's defence, he did invite himself in ... burn your hand, this could easily be one of those sad family-in-trouble flick usually found on the Hallmark channel. Look at the list. Did the family buy a house that needed cash input for fixing up? Check. Are they worried about money? Well, the guy is. Check. Are they adjusting to new situations (new home, new family members, new environment). Check. Will stories about how folks were killed in that house freak them out? Probably, especially when everyone thinks the father 'looks like the long lost twin of the bloke who shot them all in that Amityville house'. Nice, real nice, oh no, that didn't add to the stress at all.

So, when I watched the movie I kept thinking, 'Boy, these guys are really high strung'. In fact, you keep hoping that priest who was also a shrink would counsel them a bit instead of concentrating on the paranormal activity. It was starting to look like one of those families that break down after way too many stressful instance. At this rate, you expect the kids will have imaginary friends and the poor dog will mope and spend all its time in the basement and the guy will snap, yell at the woman and maybe slap her …. oh wait, done, done and yea, done. Oookay! I don't know if these instances will bug other folks as much. But keep in mind or at least don't have the same expectations you would have for Silver Bullet. Or even Bloody Pit of Horror.