
I recently came across a trailer for an old Hindi movie on Youtube. Admittedly it was not as bad as the Nigerian 666; on the other hand, it was a gruelling 2 and half minutes as I tried to decipher the selling point of the movie. This brief clip revived my interest in cheesy foreign horror and thus, I embarked on a mission to find other unintentionally entertaining hindi horror flicks. And my word, there were many!

This old flick from 1988 was directed by a duo called the Ramsay brothers. The overall gist of it is a blood-thirsty vampire/witch who preys on village folk. She was killed once before, by the local thakur (i.e.landowning rich bigwig in area) and now she's back. And no one can stop her … or can they?
This was the movie that started this little quest of mine. Quite honestly, I tried to understand what the movie was going to be about from this trailer. What would make people stop in their tracks and runs towards the cinema to buy tickets for this flick? Was it the naked woman who pranced around suggestively before jumping into a bath tub? Was it the nasty looking necromancer (as is evident from his skull and cross bones robe)? Or was it the main protagonist, a man who can sing and dance even if his wardrobe is a cheap knock-off of Prince Adam? Or was it the ugly looking zombie which incidentally appears to borrow heavily from The Exorcist? I'd watch it to find out what's the deal with that balaclava-donning bloke, the one who was bashing up a door.

This horror disaster, dating back to 1990, is another gem by a member of the Ramsay family. It is rather painful to watch the movie clip that I did find about it as it obviously 'borrows' generously from Western horror flicks. If you read the synopsis on Wiki, seems like someone also rented out Poltergeist and The Exorcist to speed up their brainstorming session.
Well, the gist of the story is as follows. There is a ravenous demon/devil who has a fancy little minion in the form of the local sorceress. Her job description entails that she bring human sacrifices to a set location – the Shaitani Ilaaka. Now somehow, into this story comes a Thakur and his family. They will be plagued by poltergeist activity until they figure out that the devil and his lady-friend is behind it. Incidentally, is there a 'I hate Thakurs' theme running in most horror movies? I don't know how the story progresses but I am slightly worried at the way the possessed/telekinetic kid in that Wiki page changes from a happy-go-lucky brat to a married and ready to consummate female. Kids nowadays, they grow up so quickly.

Man, did the Ramsay brothers have a field day with horror flicks in the mid- to late 80s or what? This is another flick by those guys and it was made in 1984. So basically, you have a rich Thakur in some obscure part of the country, a rich and lucky fellow whose family suffers from a particularly nasty curse (seriously, what is it with all the Thakur hatred?). Apparently, all of the women end up looking up bit like Smeagal after giving birth. Hmm, seems like the rejected storyline for the Shrek franchise. And the reason for this maiming curse? Simply because the Thakur's ancestor got this brilliant idea to capture the resident demon/Yeti/Sasquatch (did I mention that he was evil?) and decapitate the fellow. Oh no, he choose to disregard the advice of his vizier, the trident-wielding Gandalf-look-alike (how much more street-cred do you need than that look, dammit!). Yes, he decided he won't burn the Samri yeti thingy as suggested by Mr Trident; no, no no, he's going to keep the ugly head of the monster and bury his body somewhere else. You know, because all great ideas start with 'Let's keep a powerful demon head as a souvenir …'. And you wonder why his family is cursed. The demon's probably wanting to scratch his head for the last few centuries.
Can I just add that this movie had the weirdest trailer I have ever seen? It should be summed up as 'The Strange Ways We Torture Women'. First some demon monster gouges out a snooty princess' eyes. Then some gal stepping out of pool and is stalked by a perv (and she is impressed, how warped is this world?). And then, there is a woman in a golden showgirl outfit singing in a bar for minimal wages. Alright, so there was nothing wrong with her but I figured we had a theme going here, so why not stick to it, hey? Oh and let's not forget the other lesson – nothing good ever happens to folks in red uniform! Ask all the crew members on board the original Trek series.

Guess who made this? Yep! And before I can add that at least there is no demon-Thakur relations in this, I was wrong. In someway, the monster is linked to the main protagonist's ancestor who was a Thakur. I suppose in one sense, some villagers did hate Dracula because he had the fancy castle, vast expanses of property, the hypnotized ladies and the fanciest dinner parties. Maybe folks hated the Thakur's taxidermied mansion?
Here's the overall plot. There's a haunted mansion in a deserted area and of course a group of whippersnappers want to shack up in that place. Little do they know that the place is haunted; a crazy monster with an identity-crisis hunts down any visitors. Speaking about the demon's misguided maneuvers, it seems like the poor fellow can't decide if he wants to eat human flesh or drink their blood or simply be accepted by society. Look, that creature was holed up in that mansion's dungeon for a very long time, he has issues.

One side note about the trailer. Is there some sort of prerequisite that there has to be a swimsuit/bathing scene in every horror movie? Then again, I suppose scary movies in all countries bank heavily on skin-peeks selling the flick. And what's with the comic relief scenes in the trailer itself? Did the Ramsay folks think that it would be the deciding factor? My initial misgivings about the movie is brushed aside as I laugh myself silly and I think 'Now I have to watch this flick!'
Well, that's about all. Any other horror flick suggestions? Did anyone other than Ramsay bros make a horror movie in that period?
