Creature from the Haunted Sea

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After a long break, I finally had time to check out one of the old horror flicks. Except this one's strictly for fans of cheesy horror, to be watched only if you are locked up in a basement where you are awaiting the nuke holocaust to clear. And it's the only video you have other than the Olsen Twin's Beach Party.

The movie in question is somewhat of a cult classic and goes by the name of Creature from the Haunted Sea. It was directed by the same guy who brought us A Bucket of Blood – i.e. Roger Corman. Incidentally the scriptwriter, Charles Griffith, was the same for both flicks as well. So how is it that these guys who put together absolute gems – and I mean this in the non-sarcastic way – can come up with this flip-flop of a flick?

The story is an escape from an island and end up facing a monster sort of tale. So there you have a crew, all geared up to leave Cuba. Young ones note; this was supposed to be set right after Castro and his might beard won over the masses in Cuba. Thus, a few enterprising sailors are nabbed to help folks flee the island. Actually, I am not sure if these guys are bona-fide sailors; it was purely my guess given how they loved striped shirts. The passengers in question are Cuban bigwigs who were not quite welcome in the new regime and they brought with them a ton of treasure. Oh and there is an American spy on the ship. He was pretty much the comic relief, bringing shame to the image of the suave spy created by Ian Fleming. If you are expecting some cool maneuvers from this guy, don't hold your breath!

Anyway, the captain of the ship has plans for the treasure and he has a cunning plan. Apparently they would create tales of a deadly sea monster and fake attacks on the ship. This was their cover for killing off the Cubans which would leave them free to loot the treasure. What a brilliant plan, how could it ever fail, right? Wrong! Just ask Snow White's step-mother. Turns out there is a real sea monster and it wants blood! And flesh and bones but the point is, it is out to get everyone. Might I add that the monster looks like a horrid little stowaway from Sesame Street. How hard can it be to kill something that? Apparently it's a gargantuan task and people kept getting killed by the Muppet monster. Well, someone survives and it's a happy ending of sorts.

You like stripes too?I could think of a few reasons why I didn't like this movie. Firstly, the director seems undecided about the exact genre of this movie. Is it supposed to be funny or are we supposed to feel somewhat scared? I know it is listed as a comedy now – and there was indication that it was meant to be a laughathon – but something went wrong somewhere. In the end, the movie makes jarring transitions in between genres and that can get annoying. Even with the comedy bits, I didn't feel that the audience would be won over by the jokes. It felt more like a series of “You had to be there, it was so hilarious” moments.

Secondly, the dialog was too forced. I can imagine that half the dialog was meant as a parody but it certainly wasn't delivered well. After all, I think Leslie Nielsen in his heyday could have done a better job with everyone's dialog. And still looked creepy as the monster!

Well, watch it if you must torture yourself. I'd suggest opting for that Olsens dvd. At least you know you will be scared out of your wits with that one.