
The horror flicks that I have been watching recently have been so bad I can't even joke about them. Well, maybe not Against the Dark. Oh no, that was comedy gold! Well, when I finally got hold of Dark Floors, I figured that would change. This would be a fantastic flick worth writing about, I told myself. After all, it's got all the members of Lordi (read: metal band who wear funky monster masks) in it. As the monsters! What a fabulous idea. Right?
Turns out, it was not the big movie bonanza I was hoping for. It had a number of flaws that made it somewhat painful to watch. The acting, the story, the weird likeness to Silent Hill …. yea, they all contributed to making this movie the bore-fest it turned out to be.
But first things first, what's the story about? The movie starts out by focusing on an autistic girl called Sarah. Her father has brought her to the hospital and they are going through some checkups. Well, the medical staff can't help and the girl's dad gets all angry and paternal. However, when he tries to take the kid out of the hospital, some freaky events start taking place. For one thing, instead of landing on the correct floor, their elevator opens onto an empty passageway. One where the hospital looks like a broken down version of its former self. You know, like what you saw in the other world sequences of Silent Hill. 
Now the dad, his kid and the others in the lift must explore the hospital and fend off monsters. And make sense of it all. Oh and just so you have an idea, here's what the rest of the folks in the lift were – annoying nurse, guy with teddy bear, wise hobbo guy and security man. Of course you know that one by one everyone will be killed by monsters. It's up to us to guess who's first. And to figure out who will survive at the very end.
I must admit that, overall, this movie had plenty of potential. The folks who wrote the story had a good idea going there. An abandoned building where something mysterious has occurred. Unexplained events taking place throughout the movie which are later revealed to be … well, something unexpected. Seeing the Lordi members in their gear … On that note, the writers had thrown in a number of random little moments that unfold into important plot devices. This was a nice touch and I figure that was how they wanted to build the movie. Let's be fair, they had a good concept going there. It could have worked.
Unfortunately, I don't think they built up the mood properly. You didn't hold your breath at certain moments, you didn't wait in anticipation of something freaky popping up behind you and overall, the backdrop didn't look scary enough. In this way, I felt that the movie was caught in the middle, unsure whether it should be a gore-based flick like Dawn of the Dead or if it should follow the lead of slow arty horror like 28 Days Later.
Then there was the acting. Only two people are worth noting in the flick – the hobbo guy and the little girl. Everyone else chugged along in the flick, fighting off monsters while delivering doses of bad acting. Alright, it wasn't that they were bad (oh no, that title is left for Steven Seagal's girly sidekicks in AtD); rather, they kept trying too hard. At this point, I must admit that the nurse lady looked nothing like a nurse. Looking a bit unsure about the equipment, mate. What is it about movie makers casting ditzy characters as women medical staff? I keep thinking of that doctor/medic character from Terminator Salvation. Oh ye, someone was hogging the shampoo and conditioner on the base there.
