Wasp Woman

Scared of injections? Pfft, Janice used to be quite a party gal

When I went off to nab an old horror flick recently, I was in the mood for something silly but weird. Thus, I ended up with The Wasp Woman (the movie and not something I came home with from a bizarro pub). So there I was, all geared up for mind-bogglingly bad/goofy horror when I found that it was a Roger Corman flick. Oh oh! You know what that means! You have to brace yourself for three typically Corman traits. Firstly the storyline would be as far-fetched as you can imagine. Secondly there would be incredibly cheesy interactions between the characters. And thirdly, any monster conjured up in this flick would look like a wet-suit walking out of the hen house. Needless to say I was not wrong on any of those counts.

Well, where the story is concerned, it was somewhat straightforward. It features an aging model who will do anything to retain her looks, even if it means being the guinea pig for weirdo scientist's wasp jelly injection. It all starts out when cosmetic company CEO Janice Starlin finds out that no one wants her wrinkly face on the products anymore. If you think that was not reason enough for her to nab a mad scientist for eternal youth experimentation, listen to this. Poor Janice has to analyze the ugliest bar graph chart used in the history of company presentations before being unceremoniously told by a lackey that, ah ha ha, it was all her fault!

Yes, I made it myself!So, spurned and humiliated, Janice wanders off to find the craziest new technology out there. Which, incidentally, involves a radical scientist attempting youth regeneration tactics. He's not complaining; Janice gives him his own lab and equipment, which more than compensates for her nagging at him everyday about his success rate. To be fair, he makes a bit of progress; cats turn into kittens, old mice warp into bouncing babies, there's much to celebrate in that lab. So the ambitious CEO decides that she must sneak into the lab and test some of this magic juice on herself, trial-and-error be damned! Too bad for her the scientist neglected to mention that one of the cutesy lab kitten had morphed into a feline version of an Igor. This is why folks must reveal all in their progress reports.

Anyway, that's how the Wasp Woman emerges. Mind you, she doesn't keel over and become a Jekyll-type insect-human hybrid overnight. Oh no! The serum works on her for a few days before she starts upping the dose. See this? That's when I joined!And then, in between that time Janice does warp into the aforementioned Wasp Woman. Except she's not a giant wasp that stings people randomly. Nope, true to Corman-style, all you see is pretty little Janice donning a really bad Halloween mask. Her method of murdering folks leaves much to be desired as well. All you see is a person with a pathetic wasp-face scurry into the room and advance at the intended victim. Then she appears to sting them before pulling on a vampiric maneuver. Go figure! In the end, it's up to her sarcastic, bar-graph loving lackey to save the day.

I must admit, I was not disappointed in this movie. Sure, it was bad but it was not as mind-numbing as Bloodsuckers. After all, the movie did have a comfortably slow pace where you can follow the degeneration of poor Janice's psyche. And remember what I said about the interaction between folks? Well, between the annoying lackey, the gossipy secretary and the pipe-smoking boss, there's plenty of arbitrary characters throwing in laughable dialog, if not cheesy poses.